crap phone pictures.

so today sucked. it rained for most of the day. i fucking hate working in the rain. its not even the we part that sucks, its the cold part. and how gross your gloves/hands get. i hate that part too...
so i spent lunch in the truck making angry faces.

i found a house centipede today too... they are awesome and bite hard. the picture can out like crap becaue i use my telephone crap camera but i like this picture anyway.... mostly i like my glove.

this is the best part of my lunch...mmmmm corn nuts.

this is a picture ron took of me yesterday when we were walking on main st.... i like it because i look like i have skeleton teeth.

this is from saturday night...its like 230 in the am.... and i still look cute. jk.

i am listening to jack johnson and the rain right now. its pretty awesome. it is supposed to rain pretty hard tomorrow so they have decided to call off work. and we get to work on saturday instead. im pretty irritated about it. i have been looking forward to my weekend off for a long ass time and now its ruined. i just want to have 2 days off in a row. i dont think i am asking for too much.
so my class reunion is coming in july and both alison and lezlie are coming home. im pretty excited. lezlie and i are planning some awesome adventures for while she is here too and im super excited about it. we are going to go on this weekend trip where you get to go skydiving and whitewater rafting... and camping of course. im pretty amped up about it. i cant wait. we are also talking about attempting katadin. i talk about it every summer and then dont end up going because i suck. im a little afraid of it. its 11 miles.
summers are fun. i like them the best. i wonder if i would appreciate it as much without the waiting for it to happen part... i think i would.
if anyone wants to do fun stuff let me know. i like fun stuff. i also like snuggling and dont have anyone to snuggle so if you want to snuggle and you arent going to try to feel me up let me know and we will make a snugglefest date.
im tired and i want to lay in bed now.

loves.
ames.

ready or not brunswick, here i come.

so i feel like the weekend was pretty long. i went out to see time for change play last night. it was pretty good.
they played well.
tom looked hot.
i saw one of my favorite friends.
i was drunk before i even got there.
i was one of the only people dancing.
i had fun.
then we went to amigos.
drank some more pbr.
got kicked out.
not because of me... because it was time.
hung out on warf for a bit.
met some dudes.
hung out till 3 am.
worked at 7 am.
im sick of this list.... there is a second josh that works at 158 now, hes awesome. today is the first and only time i got to work with him and he was really enjoyable. i liked him and i think that he and ron should be friends. i am going to try to work that out.
after work i grabbed some crap from fessenden and brought it to brunswick. my mama brought over a mattress for me to use. im a little sad about being downgraded to a twin but i got awesome cowgirl sheets and that made me feel better about it... that and i realized a small bed was an amazing excuse for cuddling...
i ♥ cuddling.
so this is a quick shot of my new room. i will definately take more pictures of the new place as soon as i get a chance...

so ya i think i am going to like hanging out in brunswick. i have only been here 8 hours and i have already done a buncha fun shit.
i need to sleep now. i only got 3 hours last night and its midnight. at least i get a little extra time to sleep tomorrow morning.

loves.
ames.

blockbuster=fucktarts.

so today while dumpstering for boxes to move with i came across a bag with a bunch of dvds in the blockbuster dumpster... i was really excited.

and then i realized that blockbuster is owned by corperate fucktarts and they had intentionally marked all of them so they wont play. lame ass lameness.
but overall i had a good day. 158 was awesome. josh shaved his beard and looked strange. but he had awesome stories to tell from his travels. for example he ate guinea pig...
aaannnndddd.... some new things started blooming today.
crap apple trees.

and these are the tulips in the park up the street... they are about to burst.

if those 2 pictures dont make you smile... nothing will.
alright well i have to get back to my glass of wine now.

loves.
ames.

boring day.

so the dudes i have been working with the last few days dont like to talk to me at lunch... it makes lunch pretty boring... so this is what i did today.

overall i would say work was lame. i did spring clean up for the 5th day in a row... worked with lame dudes for the 3rd day in a row. at least my muscles are getting their groove back, im not really sore anymore. just hungry. working hard makes me hungry.
i also hung out with ron and his friends today. it was fun. i like them. they jammed for a while and it was awesome. i drank beer and played with stuff... there was all kinds of fun music stuff there. they make me feel old (they are only 20) but they are rad and i am going to hang out with them anyway.
this weekend is my last weekend at 158. i am both sad and happy. i am sad because i like it there a lot. it is the raddest coffee shop in maine. literally. and the owner is the bestest. and greg is the bestest, even though hes a little mad at me right now over the whole starbucks thing. i like working the counter and getting to say hi to everyone. but i am happy because i have been working 7 days a week and it fucking sucks. i dont sleep enough and i think that being run down is contributing to my never ending sickness... yes i am still sick. im fucking sick of being sick. its starting to make me angry. i dont know how to make myself better.
in addition to working this weekend i am also going to go see time for change tomorrow night. there new cd came out so i feel like i need to go out and support the band... buy a copy. that sort of crap. and see tom looking all hot like. i was thinking i would get shitty at the house and then ride my bike over to the station. its wicked close. i cant wait to ride my bike around brunswick.
and then in addition to that i am going to try to find time to pack and move my shit this weekend. i hate moving. it makes me want to get rid of all my shit. it has only been 2 months since i moved the last time and it had only been 2 months before that. my life is all topsy turvy right now. i hate it. i cant wait to be settled into the new apt.
i need to go to bed now. i have to be at 158 at 630. and josh is back this weekend so i need to be on top of my game... im thinking about talking to him about parker being a jerk about the starbucks cups. but i dont know... im pretty non-confrontational.

goodnights.
loves.
ames.

ocean breaths salty.

so i got to work out on bailey island again today... its pretty awesome out there.
pjms are starting to flower.
i like pjms.

one of the houses i worked at today had its own beach so i hung out down there and took some pictures while i ate my carrots.

there was more sea glass on that beach than i have ever seen in one spot ever.
i had to steal some of it.

these are just some random things i saw down at the beach...

the lady had some pansies too.
i kinda like pansies.
they make me think of lions.

and since tree flowers make me so happy i had to take a picture of this cool red one.

other than work i didnt accomplish very much today. i was going to clean my room and try to do some packing but that didnt really happen. i did a little but not much. mostly i just drank beer.
vacationland is my favorite grittys beer.

um yep so i think i am going to go to bed now.

loves.
ames.

ps. aunt sandra... i shower 5 days a week now. im the cleanest ever. thats one days dirt.

me and spring are sprung.

so spring is officially here.
its official.
magnolias are blooming.

and so are forsythia.
oleaceae forsythia.

one of my favorite things about spring.
i ♥ treeflowers.

new leaves are probably the cutest.

this is beside my house... it seems like it was just yesterday that these were tiny and looked like little dandelions.

these are my homeless perrenials. i need to bring them to my moms or something.
i couldnt leave them at nicks.
i am especially excited about my veriagated iris.
even though it probably wont flower well this year.

this is just some cool chipping paint i found outside.

and this is the window i had to climb in after i took pictures... because i locked myself out for the third time in the last 2 weeks.
note the rock i stand on and the scuff marks.
id also like to say it is significantly more difficult to get up there when you are tired from work and you dont have shoes on.

so ya, thats what i did today.
i went to work.
worked on baileys island.
blew snot.
forgot my inhaler.
thought i was going to pass out.
dealt with sore lungs all day.
rushed home.
hit my inhaler.
went outside for pictures.
climbed in the window.
ate kristins rice and beans.
fucked around on the machine.
took a shower.
went to bed.
thats all.

loves.
ames.

ps. i ♥ comments.
pss. and i saw my first snake and bumblebee today.

i love dirt.

holy crap man... i have missed a bunch of days in a row. what can i say? i worked 59 hours last week and kasey got married on sunday... it was a busy week. i dont have any pictures from the wedding yet but i will post them as soon as kristin shares.
i do have some other kinda fun pictures to share though... this one is a little old but i still like it. its a picture adam took of me in my plow truck this winter. i ♥ driving big trucks sometimes.

this is the start of my awesome dirty finger.

this is a shot of my dirt tan from the other day.

these are my awesome dirty toes. that nail polish is froma wedding i went to in september.

these are bruises from my abusive relationship im in with my job... you should see my legs.

i ♥ these fucking cows.

this is some of my treasure from dumpster diving.

i will tell you all about my adventures another day. when its not 1130 at night and i dont have to get up in 6 hours.

life is good. im sick. my class reunion is in july and im scared.

loves.
ames.

i times twentyfour.

today has been kinda weird.
i got a sunburn on top of my sunburn.
i had to run a leafblower all day
im pretty sure my shoulders will never be the same.
i realized that one of my coworkers is the younger brother of a girl i was best friends with in 3rd grade. she was weird last time i saw her but he is totally rad.
i want to be his friend.
it was really weird.
i got spoken to about pulling out of the shop parking lot to fast.
i picked like 30 cents worth of bottles out of the dumpster at work... wouldnt you think that dudes working at a landscape company would care about the environment. nope. they dont. dont be fooled.
i am stuffed up.
i sound sick.
i took 6 ibuprofen.
i only slept 4 hours last night and its 11.
im not even tired.
i hung out with forrest and his friends mike and mike last night. and kristin met up with us at amigos. it was fun. even though i feel like i need a fly swatter when i am hanging out with that boy i enjoy his company. hes wicked fun. and one of the mikes was cool too. he had nice teeth.
i saw my friend meg at the bar last night. that was cool. and i realized that she is dating this dude paul that i know through concetta. that was weird. for being the largest city in maine it is a fucking small town. i feel like everyone is connected in one way or another.
im running out of sentances that start with i.
i am sad that all my friends had crappy days today.
i wish i could hug them all and share my chipper mood. literally everyone i know had a bad day today. its weird how that works.
i am glad that tomorrow is friday.
i want to do something fun but i think i am going to save it for saturday night because i actually get to sleep in on sunday morning.
i cant smoke with the rest of the world on sunday but i can fucking sleep in. wooo.
id rather smoke.
i need to stop trying to start sentances with i and go to bed now.
i have ringing in my ears.
i want to ride my bike.
im really going to go to sleep now.
i mean it.

loves.
ames.

redneck.

work was a lot less hard today. partly because i am getting used to it and partly because i was using different muscles. i ran a backpack blower for most of the day and jammed out with my headphones on. i also ran the walker mower for a little while... i was sick of blowing so i talked my boss into trading off with me. he gave me this face like he didnt believe that i really knew how to run it but then when i hopped right on went to town sucking up leaves he seemed pretty impressed... i got super dirty though because of all the sand from this winter that hasnt been swept up yet. my boogers were black and i my eyes were itching all day. i got a sun burn today too... my face was a little red after yesterday and today my face and neck are definately burnt. i stopped and picked up some sunblock on my way home from work today... even though my native american blood makes me tan up nicely i still like to wear sunblock to ward off wrinkles and cancer. i dont want to look like leatherface when i am 40. we are getting new uniforms at work and they are going to be carhartt pants. and we get to keep them forever and ever. how exciting is that? the answer is very especially if i get girl ones. i friggin love carhartt. my nose is running and i am still coughing. i think i am probably dying. i have been coughing for like 2 months now. i am sick of it. sickidy sick.
i wish i had some cool pictures to post but i dont. i should go change back out of my pjs and into real clothes. i am going to meet up with forrest and some of his friends for a drink in a little while. i am going to try not to stay out to late... we will see how that goes. at least i slept a lot last night.

loves.
ames.

no subject.

so today was day 2 at the new job. i like the dudes i work with quite a bit. they are fun. i am thinking they are going to be a good way to find friends in the area, im just going to hang out with them and have them introduce me to their friends. good plan i know.
my new job is thoroughly kicking my ass. im soooo sore. i kinda hate it. it feels like rigor mortis is trying to set in. im not going to be able to move by friday. 10 hour days are long when you havent done anything all winter. its a little annoying too because we are supposed to work 4 tens and have friday off and they were saying today that we are going to work 5 days a week for the next month or so and that there might even be some 6 day work weeks. it sucks because i am tired and i have to work at the coffee shop on the weekends but it is good because i will be making all kinds of money. i just dont like working enough to work 7 days a week for very long. i want to lay around and read...im going to go pack up my books at nicks soon and i am not only excited to have them back in my possesion i am also excited to reread evasion. its been a long time and i fucking love that book. i have to pee wicked bad right now and kristin is in the shower. its a good thing i have a strong bladder. oh ya so back to nick for a minute... i owe him $500 from when he paid my downpayment for my car. and lately he has been asking me for it... well i dont have it because i havent been working so i was telling him that i would give it to him once i start working full time again and get some real paychecks. i left out the part about how i am saving up for a tattoo. anyway so he called me the other day and he was like when are you coming to get your fish tank (i have a super sweet 30 gallon that i have been to lazy to move) and i was like oh i dont know i am moving now so i think i would like to wait until i get my new apartment blah blah blah bunch of excuses and hes like how about i just keep it and we call it even. hells ya. i like my fish tank a lot but i have been trying to rid myself of unnecessary possesions lately and its nice to not owe him any money anymore. yay. im excited. im going to pee my pants.
actually i am going to check my email real quick and then go to bed. i have been staying up way to late lately. and not drinking nearly enough coffee.

loves.
ames.

yo soy el bandito.

i had my first day at my new job today. the guys were nice and they thought i was funny (i am) i raked up sticks the first half of the day and then i had to run a power broom for the second half of the day. it sucked. i hate power brooming. my lungs hated me power brooming. i am really sore and tired. its going to be a long week. i want them to give me my stupid piss test already so i can smoke. today is my 10th day. its definately getting easier but it is still annoying.
so i have some wicked exciting news. kristin and i found an apartment today! actually kristin found it. i wrote the check. its inexpensive. and has parking and heat is included. and there isnt a lease so i can run away to oregon whenever i want. i have been thinking about oregon more and more lately. i have wanted to go there for so long...um ya.
kristin and i went to whole foods yesterday. i stuffed my pockets with free samples, saw my old classmate matt, gave him my phone number (wink, wink), took pictures of peppers and bought an awesome hat. i wanted to steal it but i decided that the bad karma wasnt worth it.

so um ya in case there is any confusion i am an outlaw.
amy bandito.
i have to tweeze my eyebrows and go to bed now.
can someone give me an envelope so i can send nate his presents? the post office is closed when i get out of work.

nighty night.
loves.
ames.

ps. i didnt take this picture but i think it is funny that people collect fountain pens. i ♥ pens, pencils and all other writing utensils.

late night slacking.

oh hi. so it is super late and i should absolutely be in bed right now. but well you know me... im a slacker. i even slack at sleeping.
so my boss finally called me. i start work on monday. yay.
and kristin is sleeping in my other room as of tonight. yay again.
hopefully she will help me hate living here a little less.
hopefully we find a super sweet apartment.
goodnight.
loves.

the horizon has been defeated.

kristin and i have been looking at apartments like crazy and just cant seem to find the right one for us... it is a little frustrating but i am trying to stay positive. we looked at one that was pretty awesome today that we both wanted but the guy decided to give it to another person who looked at it. she had called first but we had seen it first so it doesnt really feel fair. whatever though there is a better apartment somewhere with our names all over it. one with a yard.
my new boss still hasnt called me.
but at least my lungs feel better.
im obsessed with jack johnson lately.
this is my jack song of the day.

the horizon has been defeated
by the pirates of the new age
alien casinos
well maybe its just time to say
things can go bad
and make you want to run away
but as we grow older
the trouble just seems to stay

future complications
in the strings between the cans
but no prints can come from fingers
if machines become our hands
and then our feet become the wheels
and then the wheels become the cars
and then the rigs begin to drill
until the drilling goes too far

things can go bad
and make you want to run away
but as we grow older
the horizon begins to fade
fade away

thingamajigsaw puzzled
anger dont you step to close
because people are lonely and only
animals with fancy shoes
hallelujah zig zag nothing
misery is on the lose
becasue people are lonely and only
animals with too many tools
that can build all the junk that we sell
sometimes it makes you want to yell

things can go bad
and make you want to run away
but as we grow older
the horizon begins to fade
fade fade fade

um so ya its time for bed. i ended up staying up waaaaaay too late last night. i was talking online with my new old (or old new) friend and it was totally worth the loss of sleep. if i disappear from maine its because i ran away to be with him.

loves.
ames.

my lungs are broken.

no need to worry friends i am feeling much better today. i have the worlds best friends and pretty much everyone i know has given me good solid advice and encouragement. um ya so i dropped out of school today too. that makes me feel both better and worse. it makes me feel better because it is one less thing to think about but it makes me feel worse because i feel like a big loser. im a college dropout. it makes me feel like a failure. but at the same time i was going to get bad grades in my classes and by withdrawing now i am protecting my gpa. but i still feel like a loser.
in other news i went to the doctors today. i am still coughing and my lungs hurt and i have been getting light headed and short of breath lately so i thought maybe i had pneumonia or something. luckily i dont but there is something wrong with my lungs. my doctor put me on an inhaler and told me to start taking my allergy medicine. hopefully it helps i am so sick of being sick. i took some cool pictures of the fish tank at my doctors office today... i like fish tanks.

um ya so lets see... what else is going on... um. well my new boss still hasnt called me. its making me a little nervous but i am trying to not stress out about it. things will work out the way they are meant to work out. its weird to have all this free time on my hands i dont know what to do with myself. i did a little cleaning this afternoon, that felt pretty good my house has been driving me crazy for weeks now.
um. thats all really. i guess.
i ♥ this dog. its kristins roommates dog.

i post a lot of pictures of dogs. what can i say i ♥ aminals.
i guess i am going to go to bed now. im not really tired but it is getting late and i dont really have much else to say sooooo....

loves.
ames.

ps. nate get back to your homework, slacker.

melting brains.

holy fuck have i had the worst day ever.
i have literally have spent more time crying than not today. i am just soo overwhelmed and stressed right now. its fucking terrible. i gave my 2 week notice at maine turf yesterday. i am taking the plunge and taking that job in topsham. andy took it really well and was like well we are sorry to see you go but if its what you want to do then good luck, blah blah blah. then today when i showed up for work pam aka bitchface was like we need to figure out how you are going to pay the rest of the months health insurance with your last 2 paychecks. and i was like uh...no. she wanted to take out my insurance money twice out of my last 2 paychecks to make up for the fact that they are going to have to pay for it until the end of the month... which would leave me with about $20 left after taxes, which basically means i would be working for free for the next two weeks. i flipped out. literally. i yelled and cried and argued. flipped. and i was just like fuck this. why am i going to stay here and work for free when i could just leave now and say fuck you guys and hopefully just start working at my new job a little sooner. so long story short i didnt work out my 2 week notice. i called my new boss and told him that i could start sooner and he said he would call me and let me know what their schedule was looking like... he hasnt called me back yet.
then i was telling nick my crappy story and he told me that if i wanted to make some money he would pay me $15 an hour to do yard work at his house, so i went there for a few hours today and did that. and seeing all of madelyns shit in the shed added to my meltdown.
im an emotional mess right now. i need to have my life settled. i hate how upside down everything feels right now. i will be starting a new job i am looking for a new apartment with my new friend and i am failing out of college.
holy fuck am i a mess.
alison gave me some good words of wisdom a little while ago though...
not everything will be alright
but somethings will

loves.

sometimes i get stumped and cant think of a good title name.

i havent posted since thursday... what the hell. i have been busy and a little sick and just havent had a chance really. i do have a few pictures though so that should make up for it a little bit.
this is a drawing of a pine cone ian made for me. i am going to get it tattooed soon. im just not sure where to put it. any suggestions?

this is the edge of my driveway. i was wicked excited to see some flowers trying to live.

this is carmelita. she is cute.

this is benny. he is also cute. i ♥ dogs.

thats all i have for now. i hope to have more pictures that are actually interesting to share soon.
hrm. lets see.... what else can i talk about? well i went to a job interview on friday and they offered me a job. i am pretty sure i am going to take it. the job is in topsham and so i think that i would move northward. i am a little scared to leave portland but the truth is that there really is no reason for me to stay here. rent is expensive and i could give a shit about going to the old port...i will update more on this when i make a final decision...158 is still good. i made $60 in tips this weekend which was pretty sweet. i would have liked working this weekend more though if i hadnt felt so crappy. i have been sick and sick and sick. im ready to be healthy and healthy and healthy. i am going to sleep now.

loves.
ames.